Yesterday was a pretty rough day. I had to say bye to Kenny and just have faith that I’ll get to hear from him again soon. Even though I know he didn’t take his cell phone with him, I kept mine close by; not willing to acknowledge the fact that it will months before I receive a text from him again.
I woke up this morning thankful that my eyes are no longer burning or swollen, but I still have the ache in my heart (it’s either that or I’m REALLY hungry!). Sorry. Trying to be funny.
While I was online last night (secretly wishing the plane he’s on right now has internet access and his screen name would just pop up) I found a military girlfriends support site. It’s amazing and I know I’m going to find a lot of help and support through it. Anyway, while I was searching around I found this and wanted to share it:
I am a military girlfriend, there is no ring on my finger to symbolize our commitment, though I love him no less for it. I hope every day that he will be able to call because a simple 30-second phone call can bring the greatest spectrum of emotions . . . smiling with tears in my eyes from so much joy and pain. My relationship is based on the brief communication where “I love you and I’m okay” speaks more than volumes and gives me the strength to keep going.
I am a military girlfriend. I take no moment spent together for granted. I hold onto every touch, caress, kiss, and every word. I have memorized the feel of his skin, his smell, the sound of his voice, and I play it over and over in my mind so that I will not forget. I cry myself to sleep some nights because missing him hurts so badly, but wake up the next morning, brush myself off, and start a new day.
I am a military girfriend, the events of the next several months hold my life, my love, and my future in the balance. When you watch the news reports, you may turn away and go about your business relatively unaffected. When I watch news stories of the war, I do not see nameless soldiers a half a world away. I see individuals who will be forever changed by war. News of every casualty causes me physical pain and deep sadness.
I am a military girfriend, not a spouse or family member. When you say your prayers for the wives, children, mothers, and fathers, please don’t forget about me.
I’m going to get through this. I’m going to be strong, even if that means I have moments where I breakdown and cry.