Welcome to the Air Force*
*I think if one more person tells me “Welcome to the ____(insert Air Force or military here)” I’ll either cry or yell at them to shut up. I’ve been “welcomed” in several times, thankyouverymuch, and I don’t need a constant reminder of how unpredictable my new life will be.
And with that lovely disclaimer I shall begin my rant. (What? You didn’t think this was turning into a happy-go-lucky wedding blog, did you? Actually this will be somewhat wedding-related, but you can read more to find out why.)
As some of you know, Kenny was put on and then recently pulled off the deployment for September/October (meaning he would’ve been leaving in about a week and returning in November). We scheduled several aspects of our lives around that deployment only to have to rearrange things since he was now staying home.
Before the news of that almost-deployment he was told he would be on the November/December (leave late October; come back early January) deployment. I cried because he’d miss all of our important events (Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, anniversary, etc.), but he was also taken off that list, too. Sounding familiar yet?
*side note: I need to stop here and explain that I completely realize my fiance has it easier than most with ridiculously short deployments. I read blogs of girls who just said bye to their husbands and won’t see them till this time next year and for that I’m amazed and hold them in very high respect. We don’t have to say goodbye for that long, and for that I am extremely thankful, but that’s not what my rant is about; hang with me for a little bit longer and I’ll get to my point.*
This morning, literally five minutes before I had to leave to conduct an interview and head into a meeting, Kenny told me that they are considering putting him on the list (again) to be deployed this November/December. (Supposedly we’ll find out “for sure” sometime next week-ish if he’s “officially” on the list.) My first reaction wasn’t to cry or get upset; my first reaction was to want to yell, “SERIOUSLY?”
But I didn’t even have time to think about it, because I had to get to my meetings. I quickly sent out a tweet that said, “Taking deep breaths. Again. Thanks, Air Force,” and consciously told myself to breathe as I walked down the steps to my car. As I turned the ignition, the song on the radio made me giggle. Anna Nalick was singing “Just breathe.” And so I did.
My biggest problem with this whole thing is that they can’t just say something and stick to it. I understand not being able to pin-point an exact date for when they’ll leave or return, but this is the third time within the past few months that he’s “almost” had to go. And these aren’t just small TDYs that he’s going on, being away for a few months needs some additional planning…especially when there’s an upcoming wedding.
I know I can finish the planning without him, because as much as it will suck, it’s been done before when significant others are deployed. We can hopefully have our cake and food tasting a couple weeks before the wedding and he can help me with the last minute details when he gets home. I just don’t want to start planning for him to be gone and then find out a month from now that he’s actually staying.
I’m already preparing myself for some of the comments I may receive. Yes, I know this is the unpredictable life I’m marrying into. No, I’m not asking for pity or being intentionally selfish. Yes, I know other military people/families/couples have things way worse than we do. Simply put, this is just a rant and we will work through whatever ends up happening, because this isn’t the first time—and it sure as heck won’t be the last time—that the military will mess up our plans.
You'll make it. This is life in the military. My wife is a military kid herself.
Remember that when you marry him, you're marrying all of him.
Hang on for dear life. It's going to be an adventure!
Good luck & stay safe out there.
as a born and raised army brat, i understand the frustration behind the constant changing orders.
hopefully you'll get as definite an answer as the u.s. military gets =) hang in there jess!
I feel ya. The constant "maybe I'll go, maybe I won't. I will. I won't. I might. I should be." etc. etc. etc.
For a planner (like me) it's hard to let it go and give the control up to someone else. I won't say I'm perfect, but I have improved 10fold in the past 6 months.
To be honest, it was a relief in some weird way. To know that no matter what we want it's not in our hands. We will just adjust when the time comes.
I've also learned how to roll my eyes really far into the back of my head when he says "I may be going….". I just think "I'll believe it when I drop him off at the airport". Because up until then, I'm just wasting my emotion.
No matter what you and Kenny will get everything worked out. At the end of this – you will be married, you will be happy. The rest is just details!
It'll all work itself out, but I feel ya. The uncertainty is what kills me. There was a time this winter when my husband got his orders 12 hours before his flight left. It was….awesome! (note sarcasm please). He was only going away for a couple weeks then, but still, it makes it hard to plan anything – like your life! You should never feel guilty about being sad that Kenny's deploying for "only" 2 months. No one wants to see the person they love deploy – regardless of how long it's for. Hang in there – you'll get through it and you'll be better for it. We're all a little bit stronger than we think we are. 🙂 The saying is true – what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
The military life teaches you real quick that you have no control. And it's hard. Very hard.
My husband wasn't home for our first two anniversaries and my last 3 birthdays.
The good side? You don't get bored with the same old life. Ha! You make friends that take you out for girl dates to keep your mind off the holidays. You learn to be more flexible then anyone you'll know.
(And a deployment is a deployment, don't feel bad because yours is shorter. It's still hard!)