Bipolar Bride

I’ve been trying to figure out a way to write this post for several hours, but the words were so jumbled in my head that I couldn’t even think about typing. And of course, not being able to type out my thoughts was making me even more frustrated, so I got down to the basics of writing and started typing out single words that would pop into my head: up. down. hot. cold. crazy. bride. yes. no. It went on like that for a little while before I realized several of the words were part of the lyrics in Katy Perry’s Hot ‘n Cold song.

Since I can’t remember the last time I watched a music video (I’m guessing it was sometime in the 90s), imagine my surprise when I googled the song and her video is based around a wedding. Coincidence? I think not.

If I were to write a spin-off blog, I think I’d name it *Confessions of a Bipolar Bride. And just to make sure that I don’t offend anyone with that title, I’d asterisk it by saying: *I’m not actually bipolar, but planning a wedding can often make a bride feel like she’s a crazy person.

Seriously, people, I feel crazy sometimes. One minute I’m completely ecstatic about the wedding and the next I’m stressing over the tiniest, trivial details. The only things keeping me calm are knowing that: 1) things will most likely fall into place and it’ll be a great day; 2) I’m not actually behind on anything and I still have plenty of time to finish things; 3) fully realizing that this wedding does not make my marriage. Kenny, bless that man’s soul, is the most calm, patient, and understanding person and I have no idea how he keeps up with my mood swings.

I know I said this in my previous post, but I wish I had more time to just enjoy being with Kenny over this break. He’s leaving this Sunday and we won’t see each other for seven weeks when he’ll fly in a few days before the wedding. I’m sure part of my stress and frustration is really due to the fact that I won’t get to see him everyday, and blaming it on The Wedding is an easy excuse. (I know, I know, I should be used to saying goodbye to him by now, but I’m not.)

In order to limit some of the not-all-there and silly notions that may pop up in the next 50 days (FIFTY DAYS!), I’ve decided to unsubscribe from several wedding-related blogs I obsessively read. I love them all, but I think they’re adding to my stress, so the smart and healthy thing to do is eliminate part of the problem. At this point in the planning, I know what projects I’m still working on and which ones I’ve kicked to the curb (no more cake flags, photo upload cards, or crossword puzzles).

Okay, this post is becoming a novel, which means it’s time to wrap it up. If you’ve read this far, I commend you! For my next post, I promise a less chaotic and more cohesive subject.
Tomorrow, or rather, one minute from now, Kenny and I will celebrate our 3rd anniversary. We’re celebrating by eating cupcakes (it’s actually our cupcake tasting for the wedding, but I’m going to pretend it’s celebratory cake), having a traditional New Year’s Eve dinner with my family, and then hanging out with our friends. We’ll kiss at midnight, like we did three years ago, and ring in 2010, which will most definitely be on exciting year.

My (blog) friends, thanks for reading and putting up with me this year!

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6 Comments

  1. Wow, it's so close now! How exciting! I totally understand…there are days I am so so excited for our big day to be here and then other days I am freaked out and nauseous wondering what may go wrong 🙁 It's overwhelming. I have never been one to follow a ton of inspirational blogs, the wedding blogs I follow are mostly like yours: just ladies sharing their ideas, emotions and path to their big day. It's nice to have some support and a feeling of like mindedness in the midst of all the craziness.

  2. This was a struggle for me when I was engaged too. I don't know if you've been reading my blog long enough to hear my whole story, but I was engaged for about 10 months to a previous boyfriend, but the wedding was called off. It is a struggle to stay sane, that is for sure!

    You recognize the problem, and are taking steps to keep yourself level-headed — don't worry, you will make it through these last 50 days just fine. And feel free to shoot me an email if you need to vent!

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