Weddings.

I’ve heard that weddings can bring out the best and worst in people, and friends, I’m here to admit that this wedding is officially showing my dark side.

Do you remember, in Father of the Bride—only the best wedding movie EVER!—when Steve Martin finally goes off the deep end and has an encounter with the odd number of hot dog buns that eventually lead him to getting arrested? Then, when he’s arrested, his wife comes to bail him out:

George
That was the low point. Flipping out over four hot dog buns. I couldn’t figure out why I’d gotten so nuts. Why the wedding had me so unglued.

Officer
Banks. Your wife is here.

George
Aren’t you going to let me out?

Officer
She wants to talk to you first.

George
She wants to talk to me first?

Nina
Hello, George.

George
Why do you look happy to see me in here, Nina?

Nina
Happy? No. No. No. I’m not happy, George. you think I was happy to tell everyone that I had to come down to the city jail and bail you out for stealing hot dog buns?

George
I wasn’t stealing them!

Nina
Ah!

George
I was just…

Nina
I’m going to have to ask you not to talk or I’ll have to call Officer Whatshisname over there. You’ve been more than I can handle, George. Annies’s wedding is not a conspiracy against you. It’s just a wedding. People have them every day in every country around the world. I know it’s going to be expensive. But, we don’t go to Europe. We don’t own fancy cars. I don’t own expensive jewelery , so we can afford to have a big wedding.

George
Nina…

Nina
I’ll get you out of here on one condition, Banks. That you’ll agree to the following. Now repeat after me. “I, George Stanley Banks…”

George
I, George Stanley Banks…

Nina
“…promise to pull it together and act my age.”

George
…promise to pull it together and act my age.

Nina
“I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button…”

George
I don’t unbutton my top collar…

Nina
Oh, yeah? No…You mean, like this bit?

George
…stop hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, and unbuttoning my top collar button.

Nina
“I will stop making faces in general and I will definitely stop telling everybody how much this wedding is costing.”

George
I don’t tell everyone how much it costs!

Nina
He told you, right?

Officer
Two hundred and fifty a head?

George
Oh, well, thanks!

Nina
“I will try to remember my daughter’s feelings and how with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.”

George
I love you, Nina.

Nina
Just repeat the last part for me, George.

George
I will try to remember my daughter’s feelings and how with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of her happiness.

Nina
I love you, too. Let’s go home.

Yeah, see that scene? I feel like I’m not too far from it and that one day, the odd number of hot dog buns in the store may just set things off.

Last night, during one of my latest wedding meltdowns, Kenny talked me through it by reminding me that I’m not behind on any of my projects and that people are starting to get excited about the wedding. He couldn’t see it, since we were on the phone, but I rolled my eyes at that statement.

And even though he couldn’t see my extensive eye roll, he knows me well enough to know that the eye roll was followed by a deep sigh, because the next thing he said was this:

“You may be sick and tired of planning this wedding after 11 months, but there’s just a little more than a month left and since people are getting their invitations now they’re getting really, really excited for the wedding.”

And then it hit me.

Side note: if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been “hit” by something profound about this wedding, I’d be a very rich girl right now. End side note.

People are getting excited, because this wedding is happening very soon! All the hard work we’ve done and the little details and projects I’ve worked on are going to be noticed. I may still cringe a little bit internally when someone asks me how wedding planning is going, because all I want to do is complain about something or other, but as of today I’m going to try my best not to show my frustrations on the outside. People don’t want to hear all the negative thoughts constantly flowing through my mind, because they’re excited about the wedding!

So I’m attempting and agreeing to the following:

“I, Jessica Lynn, promise to pull it together and act like a bride excited to get married. I will stop sighing, hyperventilating, rolling my eyes, and telling everybody how many people our room can hold, because even if that room is full to capacity it means that Kenny and I are loved, immensely. I will try to remember how much energy, money, and love my fiance, family, and friends have put into this wedding. And how, with every roll of my eyes, I am taking away a piece of their and my happiness.”
I’ve been stuck in this writing rut, and since the wedding is quite literally the only thing on my mind these days, it makes sense that I haven’t been able to write about anything.

On my last post, Loquita left a comment that helped set me straight. She said, “This blog should be a place where you can experiment with different voices and styles of writing to *find* your voice. The blog should *not* be something you avoid writing in until you’ve found that voice.”

I completely agree. So while I just vowed to not complain in person, I may still need an outlet to vent, so if you see more posts one here about a frustrated bride, it’s because writing is my outlet, and everyone needs an outlet. So, blog friends (new and old!) thanks for reading and sticking with me during this crazy time 🙂 Who knows, maybe you’ll even see a post or two about some of the exciting things I’ve been working on lately!

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7 Comments

  1. Thanks for the bit about the room capacity. That's like 99% of my concern right now and it's freaking me out 😉 Good thoughts!

  2. You aren't alone. It is so draining that it becomes difficult to get excited. Just try not to get bogged down in the details. And after you get back to Georgia we will do some Trash the Dress and couples shots! YAY!!!!

  3. Such a great, great post! I totally get you…it can be overwhelming and stressful. The cool thing for us is that people have been excited since the moment we got engaged. But now with only 3 months to go, *I* am the one starting to feel nervous and anxious and not sure where to go from here. I think it's wonderful how you are able to recognize your thought process and work through your emotions…no matter how it ends up, you are finding yourself along the way for sure!

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