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Should We Stay or Should We Go

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I’ve only been a military spouse for two months and already we’re going through a deployment, saying bye to close friends as they move to a base across the country, and now we’re contemplating a move for ourselves. Welcome to the military.

There’s an opportunity to possibly (because nothing is official until we have the orders in our hands) PCS to Germany in January. If you’re our friends or family reading about this here before hearing it here for the first time, we literally just found out and haven’t even decided what we want to do yet. As you can imagine, trying to make a big life decision when you can’t talk to your husband about it face-to-face, is kind of daunting, which is why I’m here…ramblingconfused blogging at 11 o’clock at night. 

We’re lucky enough that right now we can either pick or pass on this opportunity. If we pass we can always try to get it again in a few months, but there’s no guarantee it’ll be available. We always said we would to live overseas for our next station and wait on starting a family till we come back to America, but now that the reality and option is here…we don’t know what to do. 

Here’s a quick pro/con list we came up with:

Pro

  • Travel is at our fingertips
  • New culture
  • Great festivals and beer (courtesy especially from Kenny)
  • Opportunity of a lifetime
  • Spend more time with each other since we’d be waiting to have kids
  • It’s gorgeous there

Con

  • Only go home a couple—if that—times a year.
  • Smaller home than in America
  • Would have to leave a lot of our “stuff” here
  • No closets (seriously, what?!)
  • Put the baby fever on hold for a few years (yes, we can have a child in Europe, but we would rather wait and be closer to family)
  • Far from family and friends 
  • We really love our home here and thought we would enjoy it for a little longer together.

If you’re keeping track, that’s six Pros and seven Cons, which isn’t exactly an answer. I have no idea how we’re going to even get an answer. 

Thanks for letting me ramble…

I’ll let you know what we decide, and then I’ll let you know what the Air Force decides for us. 

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18 Comments

  1. That's basically the same list I came up with for us (not that we have ANY idea of duty stations yet!). The way I see it, though, is I never know when I'll get the chance to see the world again, if perhaps SoldierMan will decide to "retire" early….seems like while we're young and childless is the best time to go overseas as opposed to later.

  2. I say do it. The perfect time is before you have kids. We always talked about taking an overseas placement before kids. Don't know if it will happen, but…I'd do it!

  3. My brother is currently stationed in Germany with the Airforce. It is where he dreamed of going since he was a kid. Now that he is there, he cannot wait to be stateside again. Although, honestly I think that has something to do with his wife being controlling and constantly complaining about being a military spouse.

    It's definitely an exciting opportunity. So many travel opportunities and so much to see. I'm jealous!

  4. Part of me says do it because you may never get a chance like that again. But then the part of me that is so attached & close to my family says I could never… I know that didn't help at all. Good luck with your decision!

  5. I'm pretty sure you said it in your list of pro's:
    "Opportunity of a lifetime"

    You can come home to family and a big house and closets and stuff, but what if you pass on this opportunity and it never comes back?

    It's a no brainer for me, but I want to see the world and experience things not everyone is lucky enough to get to experience!

    Good luck making your decision!

  6. We were supposed to be posted in Germany as our first assignment, but all the overseas assignments got stripped and we ended up at Drum. I always have some regret that we never got to experience living in Europe…especially before we had kids.

  7. Good luck Jess, what a huge, life changing decision to have to make so soon. And in the midst of a deployment to top it off. ::sigh:: If it makes you feel any better, my husbands step brother is Air Force and they spent years living in Germany and loved it.

  8. How long would be stationed there? Now would definitely be easier than after you have kids….it would be an adventure. I visited Germany and it was awesome! I know living there is different than visiting, but when else will you have this opportunity? You may not get to pick the next place.

  9. Good luck with your decision! We really wanted to go overseas for our next duty station but Jerad's recent injury (breaking his back) is preventing us from going 🙁 I say do it while you can, especially since you don't have any kids! 🙂

  10. Well I can't lie we already miss you and you're still in the states but it's Germany. WOW. That's my first thought. That's opportunity alot of people won't get. While in the end only you and Kenny will make the decision I think it would be amazing, and you would love it. You love adventure and new culture and its Germany!! How much fun! I realize you couldn't visit too much, but I promise this now- we would come to you, no problem!! I say go, no doubt!! And you don't have kids yet! Lots to think about, good luck Jess.

  11. Well, I'm taking the selfish road here and saying "DO IT!" because I've always wanted to go to Germany and it's FAR easier to go there when you know someone that IS there…

    As for the other stuff, I agree with most people that this is once-in-a-lifetime, and you've talked about it for ages! There's more time to have babies and "settle" down in "one" place (stateside) but this is a way to get everything you want in one…living overseas, your man, new culture, new experiences, etc. You did in England ALONE, and with all the support and love you have, you'll never have to FEEL alone.

    Go with your heart.

  12. I can't tell you how many people i know love and adore Germany.
    I can't express how much I think you should GO, GO, GO!

    obviously its different for everyone, and you have to make the right decision for you, but I am SO pro Germany!

  13. I know I'm late commenting, but I just wanted to say that my hubs and I had a similar reaction when he first got orders for Europe. We had talked about how awesome it would be before the orders actually hit but.. when it became "reality" and not just a really cool "idea", it was really a shock. Give it some time, but I think you'll decide that it's too great an opportunity to pass up… as scary as it is to leave everything you know and love! Good luck! 🙂

  14. Oh man… I'm so jealous! But, don't worry, whatever will happen is what's supposed to happen! That's how I've decided to live this military life! LOL

    We had orders in hand for Guam. A couple of days before going to get passports for everyone, we got a phone call from the "big boss" at the Pentagon (to our house, no less!) telling us that we are no longer going to Guam, and they revoked our orders! A week later, my husband got another set of orders to move to MA! Yeah… The only place I told my husband I didn't want to live when he joined the AF, and we got it! LOL!

    So, even with hard copy orders in hand, things can change at the last minute! LOL

  15. Oh man… I'm so jealous! But, don't worry, whatever will happen is what's supposed to happen! That's how I've decided to live this military life! LOL

    We had orders in hand for Guam. A couple of days before going to get passports for everyone, we got a phone call from the "big boss" at the Pentagon (to our house, no less!) telling us that we are no longer going to Guam, and they revoked our orders! A week later, my husband got another set of orders to move to MA! Yeah… The only place I told my husband I didn't want to live when he joined the AF, and we got it! LOL!

    So, even with hard copy orders in hand, things can change at the last minute! LOL

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