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reverb10: let go

Today’s #reverb10 prompt: 

december 5 {let go} 

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Multiple times throughout this year I’ve literally pinched myself to make sure I’m really experiencing this much happiness. You know the cliche about floating on cloud nine? That’s how I’ve felt this year—blissfully, unequivocally happy to be married to my best friend and have him be my better half. Quite often, we catch each other just smiling or staring at the other person, because life is so great.

And then I have to let go of him. Just like that, I have to peel myself away from him when he goes away to do his job. My life goes on while he’s away, but it proceeds in slow motion. Days drag on even though I keep myself as busy as I can with work, friends, lunches, dinners, taking care of my dog, and all the other day-to-day tasks that need to be taken care of, but at the end of the day, he’s not here with me. 

I know people won’t like to hear what I’m about to say next, because women like to think we can do it all on our own and that we should be strong and independent. But here’s the thing: I want him, need him, and truly enjoy him in my life. So when he’s gone, part of me is gone. Yes, I’m still happy and content most days—and I’m not depressed or moping around by any means, but letting go of him time and time again is heartbreaking and until he’s back in my arms, my life just isn’t as complete. 

It’s so easy to pretend that everything is okay when he’s gone, and honestly most days I’m doing great. But just know that whenever you ask a military wife (or anyone whose significant other travels a lot for business) how’s she’s doing while her husband is away, a simple, “I’m doing okay” most likely means “everything will really be okay once he’s home.”

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9 Comments

  1. Oh, definitely. My husband is my best friend and I feel the same way as you. I could have written that third paragraph word for word. 😉

  2. I totally get this. There is nothing wrong with saying you need your husband. I need my husband every day and I am not ashamed of that.

  3. I think that's exactly how your supposed to feel. I know I do! Somedays I decide I want to lay in bed all day and mope around, and you know what- I do. My husband is gone and it makes me sad. Don't let anyone tell you you're not allowed to feel that way, or shouldn't if you want to be strong. We are strong because we live through it, even if we're sad while we do.

    I love how you vocalized this!

  4. When B is really busy with work or away on a trip, I'm always really excited the first day (girlie TV! WINE!) and then it wears off in less than 24 hours. I can't imagine how you ladies do it. And I think missing your man and not feeling the same without him is 100% normal and healthy… if you have a good marriage! Which it sounds like you really do.

  5. Although I'm not a military wife, I can totally relate to how you feel. I always prided myself on being such an independent woman – I didn't need help! I was self-sufficient! I didn't need a man! However, now that Justin is in my life, I can't imagine being without him, even for a short time. What happened to the incredibly independent girl I used to be? I don't really have any friends here in Florida (aside from my parents…but that doesn't really count), so if Justin isn't around, I honestly think I'd just be a complete shut in!

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