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Early Separation Anxiety

A few weeks ago I left my friend’s house after a “play date,” and as I was sitting in my car waiting for it to cool off enough to touch the steering wheel a lump formed in the middle of my throat

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Do. Not. Cry,” I repeated to myself.

I think this move is starting to hit me. We’re possibly leaving two months from today and I haven’t had any emotional days yet (hence why I’ve taken up talking to myself), but I can tell my days are numbered before I start having random sob fests. 

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This wasn’t the time I almost cried, but it seemed like a good photo for the post.

The reason for my almost-tears a few weeks ago? My friend hosted a mini-pool party—and when I say “mini” I mean it was in the tiny kiddie pool with three of my favorite people under two feet tall. It made me realize I won’t get to see them grow up. I know I’ll still see them, thanks to technology, but gosh darn-it, I’m attached to them.

The child-bearing woman inside me floats to cloud nine when I see my little friends not only recognize me, but run towards me with open arms and give me a tiny, but huge hug. I melt inside. Seriously. And the thought of not seeing them for AT LEAST three years (unless I come back to Georgia to visit, of course) is something I can’t comprehend right now. I get really sad knowing they may not even remember who I am!

I know this is part of military life and moving, but it sucks and I thought I’d share my frustration. I also know this is just the beginning. Shoot, if I’m getting misty-eyed over kids who can’t even say my name yet, how am I going to handle saying “See ya soon” to my grown up friends?

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9 Comments

  1. are all the posts going to be sad now? i can't take it with the hormones. chances are i will be doing the ugly cry at the pool today!

  2. I know the feeling. Hang in there! As the move gets closer, and as it actually happens, you'll find yourself breaking down for seemingly no reason at all. It's the nature of the beast. I say let it out! It's only natural to dread missing out on all the parts of life you're so used to being a part of. I just recently broke the news to my Mom that we aren't coming home for Christmas this year. I completely lost it after I got off the phone. This will be the first Christmas in my entire life that I won't be home with my family.

    As hard as that is, I keep thinking of all the awesome things I'm going to get to do here in Germany…and you'll get to do in Italy! I doubt it will get easier, but it does get manageable with time. It's only 3 years, right? No worries, my dear. You're not alone!

  3. this is a daily struggle for me here in Japan. The kids are the worst. You never know if they'll remember you the next time you see them. It literally breaks my heart to think about it. Thank God for Skype!

  4. I imagine it will be slightly easier with your adult friends. They won't change nearly as much in three years, they'll still remember you and you can keep in touch with them a little easier. I'm sure it's heartbreaking, though, especially when you are blessed with many, many friends.

  5. We've only done the move once, but I left home a week after my MOH's baby boy was born and it was heartbreaking. Luckily, we had travelled home and happened to be there for his baptism. Sadly, even with technology, we have kind of lost touch in just a year 🙁 I know that's not what you want to hear, but I will keep you in my thoughts that you keep in contact and are blessed to "see" them grow over the next few years.

    Chin up- you will be discovering AMAZING things soon!

  6. I know how you feel! My best friend leaves in September with her two little boys who I've watched grow up, and it's killing me! Her oldest says my name over and over as soon as he sees me and runs into my arms, I'm going to miss that.

  7. I totally understand! We have a little boy here we call our "adopted son" and it's sad to think he'll only be 6-7 when we leave. And my closest friend here, who happens to be my neighbor as well, is PCSing in March and I already get sad thinking about her going. Sometimes, military life really sucks.

  8. : ( It IS hard! Last summer I moved from Boston to LA and it was (and is) really tough. But there are so many new experiences to be had, you're going to have such a great time!

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