The Optimistic Deployment
I promise all of my posts won’t be about the deployment, but it’s fresh on my mind, so I wanted to get these thoughts out of the way so I can move on to bigger and better things.
Clearly having your husband leave for any amount of time sucks. Whether he’s gone for a weekend, six months, or a year, it’s absolutely not preferred. If you’re married, one of the top reasons you choose your spouse as “the one” is because you literally want to spend the rest of your life together…not the rest of your life together, minus half a year here and three weekends there. So when they leave, it can sometimes feel like all the good things in your life are put on hold.
|from #photoadayjuly (july 3: best part of my day)|
I titled this post “The Optimistic Deployment,” but I have a lot of “civilian” friends (I hate that term, by the way) whose husbands travel a lot for work, so this post is for you too. I recently shared a list of things to keep me busy while he’s away, but today I want to talk about the good things that can come from a deployment…or any type of reluctant separation.
Yes, of course I miss my husband more than words can describe, and I wish he was here to help me open that darn jar of honey, or here to kill the ginormous spider I saw the other day. But he’s not here. So instead of wallowing in the things I hate about this time apart (I have plenty of time for that later) I wanted to make a positive deployment list.
I posted the above prompt on Facebook and the answers made me really excited, so I had to share them with you:
Separation…it always makes it better when they get home 🙂 ~ Kimberly
No one is home to judge you when you eat ice cream for dinner 🙂 ~ Jessica G.
Deployments are times
that I use to make incredible changes. Set up a workout plan & plan
to be looking slammin’ when he gets home, learn how
crochet/knit/sew/quilt/play piano… something, make decorations for the house so the house looks
terrific when he gets home, acquire a special surprise for him (depends
on him & your funds…gun, TV, tool, nice new civvies). ~ Amanda
I’m having a BLAST planning care packages & writing little notes. ~ Jessica A.
I have so much determination
to look my absolute best by the time he gets back. All the time and
energy we spent together now becomes busy time…all the frustration
fuels my workouts. Thinking of the look on his face when he returns and
sees how hard I have worked (while wearing the perfect outfit)
PRICELESS! The first hug after almost 7 months!!!! Now with skype it is
much better. The last deployment my husband went on was much better
than any of the previous ones. He had internet access (and he smartly
took a laptop of his own)!!! So we pretty much got to see eachother for a
little bit everyday (even if it was only 4 minutes and just to say
goodnight.) We made a big deal out of his days off. We would spend his
entire day off talking and it was great. I am always a little bit heart
broken when a fellow military wife is suffering through a deployment. ~ Jennifer
I like what Amanda said I
did a lot of that while Jon was gone this last deployment – got the
house organized, lost weight, and put my self into all that and more.
Perfect time to get those things done that you need and want to get
done! Also, I decided that next deployment I am going to go through my
current Pinterest pins and see how many I can incorporate into my home,
or how many I can make (recipes) and do (crafts). I will probably blog
about it too. 🙂 ~ Kathryn (Singing Through the Rain)
The love letters you get to write back and forth! ~ Kelly
I love being reminded how
blessed I am to have him, even from far away. I see how some people are
missing love in their lives with their spouses home and he makes me
feel loved from thousands of miles away…amazing. ~ Becky
You learn once again that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength! ~ Erin
I love cooking for two, but it’s really nice to get back to the basics and work on portion control again. Making a meal-for-one definitely has its benefits! And to completely contradict that, I like not being judged for eating ice cream and potato chips for dinner. Other favorite things? I can let my razor get rusty and I can watch as many chick flicks as I want without him complaining. ~me
Yes, we all have bad days during deployments, TDYs, and when they’re away for work, but sometimes there’s a small sliver of a silver lining.
Do you have anything positive you’d like to add to this list? Please share them in a comment below!
I love this list! I'm not a military wife, but I can only imagine how difficult it is to go through a deployment. Thinking of you!
My mother in law is a military wife and one thing I have noticed is how strong she is, things I would never imagine doing even small like mowing the lawn she does in stride along with other things like being awesome at ironing. It is great to see a woman that loves her husband so much but it not so dependent on him in ways I know would be hard for me. Also not as relevant right now for you but I know some of the memories my husband has a kid are special since his mom was the one there to make it all better and not in a controlling mom way but in a she was the one there to make it better if that makes sense.
There are so many positives to deployments when it comes to personal growth. Sometimes when you're married you lose sight of "me time" because you are focused so much on each other. This deployment I have done a lot more reading, growing my blog, building relationships with girls because I could go out to dinner whenever I wanted to, and got to watch all the chick flicks in our netflix queue without a single gripe. I miss my husband dearly and can't wait for his return, but in the last 7 months I have really enjoyed the "me" time! I have also enjoyed the time to work out a few fun things when he comes home to make our marriage stronger! HELLO date nights!
Way to look at this positively!!! I work an opposite schedule as B so I end up barely seeing him at all. And when we do, it's usually a Saturday AM before work (when he wakes up at 11 since he was working until 11:30 the night before and not in bed until 2 or 3.) So we don't get quality time often. It does make us actually appreciate it more though! And I have begun to enjoy my "me" time too… I try to be productive when I'm home alone instead of just lounging in front of the TV.
You are going to ROCK this deployment with positivity and grace! And think of how great it will be when he's home! The countdown only gets smaller 🙂