Five Things to do Before Having a Baby
Confession: Some of my facebook friends are only still my facebook friends because they have cute babies. A few women post the most annoying statuses and ultra-conservative conspiracy theories, but their babies are just too adorable for me to delete.
I love babies. I love children. I even love teenagers. And I can’t wait to have my own one day. But before then, I have a few things to get done first.
Paris is the most beautiful city in the world, and France is the second-best country (after the good ol’ US of A!). I studied abroad in Versailles for three months; I was an au pair in Le Vésinet for ten months, and I taught English in Niort for seven months. I left France just a few months before I met Beau, and I’ve been desperate to return ever since. France has played such an important role in my life, and it’s important that I share that with my boyfriend. Once I pop out a kid, international flights will be put on hold for years.
Who doesn’t love the happiest place on Earth?! I haven’t been to Disney World since I was 20, which is a tragic shame for a feminist Disney princess. They have a New Fantasyland, with special areas devoted to Belle and Ariel, plus other Disney characters. Since I’m basically the Millennial version of Belle, I really want to make my way back to Disney World and meet the original. (Let’s be honest… I also want to see if she actually speaks French!). I know Disney World is kid-friendly, and I’ll want to go again once I have kids, but I really want to experience it one more time as a child-free adult.
When I finished my teaching gig in Niort, I had a few weeks to travel before I returned to the States. I spent six days in Norway, visiting my distant cousins. It was really cool getting to know more about my heritage, plus seeing pictures of my parents from their visit to Norway, exactly nine months before I was born…
Even if it’s a self-published e-book, writing and publishing a book is an important goal of mine. I already have an idea for a kindle single, which I’ve started outlining. Writing and publishing a Kindle single will give me the experience for the process, so then I can produce a longer work. I know writers are able to have babies and write at the same time, but that sounds REALLY hard. I might be able to pull it off, but to be on the safe side, I’d rather publish first.
If the title of my blog didn’t make it obvious, I’m waiting for marriage to engage in coitus. So there will be no babies until I’m wedded and bedded. And as much as I can’t WAIT to have children, I also want to have a few years to enjoy being a newlywed before adding a baby to the mix.
So until I cross off items 1-5, I will heal my baby fever by cooing over Julia Grace and all the other cute babies online!
My husband and I were married for 5 years before we had our first child. My number one advice for couples before they get married is to make sure you discuss the 'hard stuff'. This applies to the topic of children as well. How do you like to spend money? How many children do you want? Will one parent stay home while the children are young? Will you save for their college fund or will they fund college themselves? Etc…
Karen
I also agree that travel is very important! 🙂
Hi, Karen! My boyfriend and I started discussing marriage after dating for only three months. I like to think we've covered all the 'hard stuff,' like kids and budgeting, but I get nervous that we've forgotten something. I love seeking out advice from happily married couples, provided the advice isn't based on sexist gender roles. 🙂 I'm sure Beau gets exasperated sometimes when I bring up tiny details that are important to me in regards to child-rearing, but I'd rather discuss our approaches to kids before we actually have them!
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I enjoyed all the lazy weekends we used to have together. We would go for walks, go to the movies, go out to eat or just watch movies all day.
I do wish we would have traveled more before kids but oh well.
Beau and I haven't had a good lazy weekend in awhile, but we did spend all of Christmas Day in our pajamas, watching original Star Trek movies and episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I will be sure to get in some more lazy time to focus on us before we introduce any babies into the family.
We've both been lucky to have traveled a lot with our separate families, but I really want to travel more as a couple before kids complicate matters.
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This is a great list, and I hope you're able to achieve it all! As much as I aspire to travel, your goal to publish your first book definitely speaks to me – I hope to do the same soon! I had my son when I was young, then my daughter came 3 years later so they've been along for the ride 🙂 Best of luck to you!
Thank you! I hope that by writing down my goals, I'll be more inspired and encouraged to complete them all.
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I have several pre second baby goals… does that count? mainly fitness goals for myself.
All goals count! I know I want to space out our future kids for multiple reasons. My health, home preparation, sufficient bonding with the first kid, etc.
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I think it's a good idea to wait a few years before having kids. I'm glad the beginning of our marriage was solid before we added our little one.
I figure so much will change when we get married. I want us to be able to focus on readjusting to a marriage before we worry about a baby.
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Don't give up on international travel when you have kids! They definitely change things but they are fun to travel with and it is fascinating to view things through their eyes
"Once I pop out a kid, international flights will be put on hold for years."
I didn't say forever, just for years. In my first au pair job, I saw how difficult it was for my boss (an Irish widow, her late husband was French) to travel with her three children, even though the youngest was already four. It was definitely a necessity for her since her family all lived in Ireland, not France.
I've also been stuck near little ones on international flights, which, again, were necessary for those families due to having international jobs and families. I'm sympathetic to those families, but it doesn't make the cramped eight hours any better when babies are crying and little kids are kicking your seat and the child in front of you is spilling juice on your carry-on that is stowed under their seat per regulations.
Then in my second au pair job, I traveled with "my" youngest from Toronto to New York, which wasn't that far, but dealing with customs with a six-year-old was still pretty exhausting.
All these experiences have led me to believe that unless your children must travel to see older/infirm family members or because of your job, it's not the best for them or other passengers to travel internationally until they're older. Once the younger of our future children is about six, international travel will start happening again.
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It's definitely good to wait awhile!
I just want to spend some time focusing on us as a married couple before kiddies happen, you know?
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