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A Third Trimester Rant

It’s about that time in my pregnancy where some snark starts to emerge. Well, not so much “snark” as it is me slapping on a smiling when all I really want to do is punch strangers in the face for making inappropriate comments. Of course, I would never ever actually do that, but that’s just how annoying this is to me. I don’t remember this irritating me last time, but then again I was living in Italy, so there was the whole language barrier to overcome. Maybe they were saying these things and I just didn’t understand them.

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So what’s causing this rant? Well, in the past week I’ve had not one, not two, but four random strangers (women, mind you) tell me the following. (Actual comments are in italics and my oh, so very thoughtful and wishful response to them follows):

  • “When are you due? It looks like you’re due next week.” Nope, but wait until you see me at 39 weeks.
  • “Oh, you must be due any day now, because it looks like you’re ready to pop. Hope you don’t have the baby right now!” Me too, but if I do, I hope my water breaks all over you. (Whoops, did I just think that?)
  • “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” Ugh. Seriously? You really felt the need to ask me that after I told you that “she’s” due next month. I didn’t say “they’re due”; I only mentioned one baby. But thanks for making me feel like I’m big enough right now to be carrying two of them.
  • “You still have a month left? Oh, you’re definitely not going to make it that long.” Well, gee whiz. I’m so happy that God has informed you on when I’m going to deliver my baby. Please, do tell me when that will be, because that would certainly be nice for planning purposes.

I mean, wow. REALLY? I totally understand hearing people/friends/family say that I’m “getting close” and it “won’t be much longer,” but the other, more direct, comments are just straight annoying. I think, maybe because they’re strangers is what really gets me.

First of all, I just had a doctor’s appointment, and I’m measuring right on track for 36 weeks, thankyouverymuch. Second of all, do you not think I feel ginormous as it is? Thanks for calling attention to my ever-growing belly in a way that indicates I’m ready to explode, Captain Obvious. Third, I’m short and have zero torso, so of course the belly is going to expand out. The last time I was pregnant I gave birth to a little lady who weighed more than nine pounds—all of that baby needs somewhere to grow!

I forgot about how much people like to just speak their minds without thinking first. When someone is this far along, you tell the woman that she looks great. Period. Dot. End of story. You don’t mention how she’s about to “have her hands full,” and that,
“maybe she should’ve spread out the timing a little more so she wouldn’t
have two kids so close in age.” Nope. You don’t say any of that. You let her know that she wears pregnancy well and she’s positively glowing. YOU LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH, because I promise you, in those last weeks, she probably feels like she’s anything but glowing. She’s sore, achy, exhausted, nervous, and anxious, and she waddles instead of walks because there’s something the size of a watermelon hanging out between her legs. 

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On the bright side to all of those comments, I’m learning how to be more patient. Because instead of punching people in the face, or saying something I’d probably regret, I simply smile and tell them that this little baby needs some more baking time, and that I have around a month more to go. Then I waddle away as fast as the bowling ball between my legs will let me.

#EndRant
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15 Comments

  1. *hugs*
    What is it about pregnancy and newborns that lets perfect strangers feel they have the right to say whatever they want?

    I've always thought you are an esp gorgeous preggo ( and I don't even need to lie 😉 )

  2. People just love to hear themselves talk. Don't let their comments bother you…ya look totally fab!! And you're growing a human. Not a tiny doll. Bellies grow just as they're supposed to and she'll arrive right when she's supposed to as well. People need filters, honestly. Enjoy these last few weeks!

    And love the family photos, girl!

  3. You do look great!! I don't think anyone should ever comment on a pregnant woman's size. Whether they carry small or look huge, she's likely self conscious either way.

    I'm tempted to tell people I'm not pregnant when they ask when I'm due, just to see how they react. 😉

  4. Pretty sure I wanted to SHOOT everyone who told me I would have my hands full…or that I looked big. First of all, it doesn't matter how old they are, or how big/small the age difference is, having another baby is an adjustment and EVERYONE has their hands full. Second, I have small babies, so the fact that people would say this to me about made me come unglued. But hey, we have more patience now, right? Haha! No matter what anyone says, you do look great!! And I'll never understand why people feel the need to express their opinions on other people's families. SMH.

  5. I hate how when you're pregnant, people think it's okay to say things like that. Like, because there's a baby inside you, you're now property of the world and everyone can just say what they want. People definitely are starting to give us crazy looks with 2 kiddos and a baby bump and it's already annoying. I just want to tell people to shove off sometimes! Bu you know, manners and teaching your kids a good example and all that. :/

  6. I often wonder why complete strangers think it's ok to say some of the things they say. I mean, I can understand that some people are just not good at small talk, and they mean well but still say something crazy. But do people not think before they speak – and wonder if they'd want to hear that sentence said to them? I especially hate when people tell me I look tired. Thank you for your insight, stranger. You don't know my life, what I'm dealing with, or if my eyes just always look tired. Whatever the reason, I don't need to be reminded. #endofrant 🙂

    P.S. I love that dress on you!

  7. You are beautiful! And I'm NOT lying through my teeth. Ignore the busybodies who are rude and obnoxious. Also there is nothing wrong with the timing of your babies. Parents of multiples handle little ones at the same time–you will too! It's no one's business how when or how many kids you have.

  8. Ugh. I absolutely despise the way people talk to pregnant women. Don't even get me started, girl! What is it about pregnancy that give people the right to remove their filter for anything and everything? Isn't that what carrying a baby looks like? Babies aren't small and neither is the pool of fluid that is surrounding them. I wrote a post about what not to say to a pregnant woman but have it scheduled for the end of the month. Thanks for this rant. People need to hear this!!

    Lauren

  9. You have so much more restraint than I do. I have a feeling if I get comments like you got, I'll be really direct and rude right back. Not all the time, but you know…those bad days when I don't want to make the effort to be nice.

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