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Currently Confessing a Few Things…

The holidays are a busy time for most people (hence this long, overdue post), but I’ve been trying really, really, really hard lately to be more intentional about my time with the girls when I’m with them. We’re getting into a better grove so that I can work and they play when they’re with a sitter, so when I’m not in front of the computer I’m trying extremely hard to close the laptop, step away from the phone, and play with them. I’m the first to admit that I’m not good at this. At all.

There was a really rough patch several weeks ago when my not-yet 3-year-old daughter and I were literally yelling at each other every afternoon. I hated it. She hated it. It was horrible. I was worn down, and constantly felt like a horrible mom, for yelling at my toddler. Who does that??? Lack of sleep, a case of a couple of colds, and getting back into the swing of things after our whirlwind trip were to blame, but so was I.

Instead of taking care of my two little ones, I selfishly let my own wants creep in. It was easy for me to get caught up in my own desires and then get mad when my toddler was just looking for a little bit of attention. I know I’ve said it before, but I’m truly not a patient person. I know this, and I’m working on it. One thing that’s been helping me in the last week or so was  an image I saw while scrolling through Facebook:

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I was doing the exact opposite, and I could feel the results weighing down on my family. Instead of looking at the good and actually listening to my daughter, I just yelled at her and got mad when she was bothering me. I’ve been repeating that verse in James in my head every day since then and I truly feel like a weight has been lifting off my shoulders. Before I get upset I pray that I’ll be slow to anger, and instead of yelling I’m repeating, slow to speak, and I can feel it working. Of course she still has meltdowns, but instead of blowing up at her, I’ve been trying to listen and figure out what’s actually going on. I’m holding my tongue instead of lashing out, and I’ve noticed a big reduction in how frustrated I get throughout the day.

Of course, I’m not perfect. There are still many days when my husband gets home and it’s all I can do to run to the bathroom with a cold beer and lock myself in there for a few minutes while I regain composure. But I’m working on it. I’m a work in progress.

Anyway, that long tangent was my way of saying that I’m attempting to slow down and change priorities a bit. I was trying to do everything and it wasn’t working. This blog may not have three posts up every week, but that’s okay. I don’t need to be the best blogger on the block, and I need to be okay with my numbers falling. Y’all will (hopefully) still be here whether it’s one post a week or three. Trying to come to terms with not having something up here all the time is a big adjustment for me, but I have other priorities—freelance contracts, Pampered Chef parties, my family, etc.—and unless it’s a sponsored post, this will have to come in second (or third or fourth) for the time being.

When you’re a mom you hear people talking about the different seasons and how everything is just a phase. Well, ’tis this season, indeed. I’m still trying to figure out how to balance my me-time and do things that make me happy and fulfill my needs, while still be a good mom to my girls. I really don’t know if I’ll ever figure it out. Honestly, some days I wish I had an actual away-from-home, part-time-job so I didn’t have this balancing guilt all the time. (Although I know that would lead to a whole new slew of mom guilt).

With all that said, I feel like doing a currently post. We’ve been up to a lot and not a lot at the same time. Does that make sense?

I’m currently…

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Slacking on Madilyn’s monthly updates.
I need to take her 10-month pictures (and then post about it), but it hasn’t happened yet. I also need to work on her baby book. If I could just have like three days with NOTHING to do I could cross so much off my list!

Loving my MOPS group.
Since I’m so caught up in what feels like tons of other things, it’s so nice to have a couple of hours every other week to meet with other ladies who get it. Yesterday we sat around our table and just talked, and it was so refreshing. Since the kids were in childcare we could focus on each other instead of constantly looking over our shoulders to make sure our kids weren’t doing something they shouldn’t be doing. If you’re a mom looking for friends, I highly encourage you to look for a MOPS group in your area!

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Enjoying the silly side of Julia
It turns out that when she’s not having a complete meltdown (truly doesn’t happen as often as I make it sound), she’s a pretty amazing girl. Take this morning, for instance. She woke up bright and happy, and despite the pouring rain outside, she insisted she wear the outfit she picked out. Lucky for her, it’s going to be in the upper 70s today, so the shorts work. (Even if they keep falling down since they’re a size too big!)

Also, with being more intentional, I’m trying to make time for her and do things with her. Baking seems to be something fun that she likes, and I’m hoping it’ll help her branch out and eat/try new foods. We also went to the park, and plan on doing that again since the weather is so confused lately.

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Excited for date nights.
Since both of our sitters moved away during the summer, it’s been tough finding time for dates—or just to work* in the mornings. Well, I have two leads for “really great sitters,” according to my friends, who are available at night. I’m really hoping my husband and I can start penciling in regular dates for ourselves once a month.

Have you seen these dates in a box? I want to start getting them SO bad! (Hint, hint, husband!)

Sad that it’s so.freaking.hot.
It’s all rainy and gray outside, which is usually my favorite type of weather…except I’m in the south where winter decided to skip over this year, so it’s hot and humid. It seriously feels like June outside instead of December. I put on my boots, leggings, and a long sleeve tunic and I’m sweating. My husband put our Christmas lights up this weekend and he got pollen on him. Pollen…from flowers that are supposed to bloom in the spring, but are blooming now. 

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Have a TON of Christmas gifts to mail out.
The other night I hosted a “Mom’s Night Out” at my house for my MOPS group—we wrapped all of our Christmas gifts! Talk about a fun night—it’s something we all needed to do, so everyone brought their stuff over and we wrapped things together!

It’s a little ridiculous how many gifts we’re mailing out tomorrow. I’m going to calculate the postage and schedule it for a pick-up from our house tomorrow, but I’m dreading seeing how much it’s going to cost.

Excited for the future.
There’s a pretty darn good chance that we’re moving sometime next year, and the place we’re going to is CRAZY. I mean, not crazy, crazy, but just really, really unexpected. Once I hear more of a confirmation, I’ll share more info, but for now we’re pretty excited about the idea of a new adventure!

Looking for easy holiday cookies to make this season with your kids? Betty Crocker to the rescue! Plus, a giveaway so you can make yours for free!

Going to make cookies this weekend.
The plan, right now, is to make cookies this weekend and then take them to our neighbors. I’m really excited! What are your favorite cookies to make with your kids? Ha! I promise I wasn’t planning on this, but here’s a great side note: Don’t forget to enter the cookie contest I have going on right now—the giveaway ends TODAY! And, click here for some fantastic, tried and true, recipes!

Loving Pampered Chef.
Admittedly, one of the reasons I feel a lot busier now is because I am. I’m loving this new Pampered Chef business, but it’s taking up a little more of my time than I imagined. I’m still getting myself organized, and now that I have a plan for what will work for me, I think I won’t be as busy or distracted. We’ll see. I’m just really happy and thankful my husband is on board with me doing this for me. I like all of the friends and connections I’m making, and it feels good to make money again. (By the way—today is the last day to order anything if you want to get it before Christmas Eve! Take a look!)


What have you been up to lately?
Tell me in the comments and leave a link to your most current post. I miss the blogging community!

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14 Comments

  1. I love this Jessica. Your list is perfect and your confession honest. The demands on moms of littles is endless and exhausting. It sounds to me like you’re doing a great job. Much of the battle is keeping life in perspective and you’re doing a great job at that. Blessings and Merry Christmas!

  2. Hi Jessica Lynn! I really enjoyed your post. It was so real and genuine. It can get crazy during the end of the year and your thoughts on slowing down really resonated with me. Great read!

  3. I feel the same…I’ve really gotten into blogging big time this past half year since I’m not teaching anymore, but I’m making a conscious effort to give intentional time to my toddler and then trying to find time for me and the laptop without having to share our one laptop with my husband when he comes home for work and after Rhys goes to bed.

  4. I can totally understand the yelling. I have twin toddlers, and I am quick to yell, when I should be quick to listen like that saying. That is exactly what I needed to see, so thank you for sharing it. Sounds like everything else is going really great. Can’t wait to hear about your new adventure.

    1. Twins—you’re my hero. I hope hearing/seeing that verse will help you. It’s truly amazing how often it comes to mind during the day. (Heh…amazing or surprising that there are that many incidences?!)

  5. Being a mom is the hardest, most rewarding job there is. I think we are all too hard on ourselves. I’ve been there, yelling at my toddler and feeling horrible for it. He’s 15 now. I wish I could say it gets easier. We just keep doing our best and show our kids as much love as we possibly can. I think too, other people can put pressure on women to be the perfect mommies and make us feel like if we yell, we are bad mommies. It’s not true. Everyone gets stressed at some point. Take time for yourself every day. Easier said than done, I know. But it’s important. I’ve learned that much so far. Good luck! You have adorable kids.

    1. You’re so right about everything you said. I think I’m trying to find the balance of “me time.” How much is too much, ya know? My me time is doing this—responding to people, writing, etc. But my kids just see me on the computer. They don’t get that my work is my me-time, but also my work. They see that their dad leaves for work, so to them I’m guessing it looks like I’m ignoring them. (I’m rambling now, but)…yes; parenting is hard and so wonderful at the same time.

  6. I am currently wondering why my Sadie is not napping for the third day in a row. Yesterday when I asked her why she didn’t want to sleep she said “cause I want to be with you at all times.” So instead of being angry (their nap time is my couple hours of me time) I melted into mush. Parenting is so hard whether you have one or triplets (like me) and it’s not for the weak at all. I am quick to get upset with them lately and I am working on that. The days are long, but the years are short…

    http://thetripletfarm.com/2015/12/15/tradition-christmas-cookies-2/

    1. Oh my goodness, that is adorable that she said that. I would’ve melted to mush, too! And man, triplets! Here’s hoping the other two are still napping so you can have a little break here and there!

  7. Yes, yes, yes. I feel your pain on losing my temper too quick some days. I know exactly what you mean. Luckily these tiny people we’re raising love us no matter what and are so quick to forgive and forget. A few minute break can turn the whole day around. And if not, there’s always tomorrow!

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