I Really, Really, Really Want to Have a Girl

I was at a blogging conference the morning I found out I was pregnant with baby number three.

And, it just so happened that I RSVP’d a couple weeks earlier to be part of a round-table discussion about pregnancy and babies at the conference.

I originally signed up because I figured there would be good material for the blog, and then, SURPRISE! It turned out I was pregnant.

When I sat down at the table for the conference discussion that morning, and as we all went around and introduced ourselves, I confessed that I just found out about baby number three that morning.

Then came the next question that EVERYONE always asks, especially after they find out that I have two girls: “Oh! So are you hoping it’s a boy?”

So, are you hoping it’s a boy?

And that’s where I was at a crossroad.

I didn’t know these women, but I’ve learned from experience that people want to hear that you want a boy…or at the very least, just a healthy baby.

So I took a deep breath and said, “Actually, we’d really like another girl.“

Then a very surprising thing happened: the women at my table clapped.

They clapped—all of them!—and said, “Good for you.”

You guys, they literally applauded me for not giving in to society, but instead for saying what I really wanted.

My husband has always said he wants three girls, and now that we’re here, I really, really, really want to have another girl. But.

….there’s always a but.

I’m pretty darn positive this is a boy. Call it mother’s intuition, an inkling, or maybe just wishful thinking, but I’ll be shocked if we don’t see a little you-know-what on the anatomy scan next month. Although, if it is a boy, at least I’m covered with things to get him now!

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Here’s the thing.

With my dad getting sick just as I got pregnant, and then with him passing away a few weeks later, I just feel like if it’s a boy it’s God’s way of saying, “Hey. It’s okay. This is my gift to you.”

Then again, maybe thinking it’s a boy, and actually being okay with it, is just my way of coping with my dad’s passing.

On top of that, my symptoms are just different this time around. I broke out BIG time this pregnancy (never really did before), and my heartburn (which is usually here around week 15), hasn’t reared its ugly head yet (I’m almost at week 19). I know those are just two things, but they’re enough to make me think twice about this being a girl.

Either way, and even though I still really, really, really want to have a girl, I’ll be very much okay with having a boy. And that’s not something I could have said without bursting into tears the first two times around.

I guess only time will tell. We find out the day before Thanksgiving, so check back after the holiday to see what we’re adding to our family!

Spoiler alert: it’s a boy!