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How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Long Distance Relationship

A long distance relationship can be H A R D.

We’ve probably been geographically separated for at least half of our 13 years together…because, military life.

That’s crazy. CRAZY.

Thankfully, we’ve made it work. I attribute that to figuring things out early on for how to keep the spark alive and healthy during our long distance relationship. And no, I’m not even talking about doing anything kinky.

Here are seven ways we keep that connection going when we’re apart, so that when we’re together we can pick up right where we left off.

Keeping that (Long Distance Relationship) Spark Alive

If there’s one thing to think about, it’s this: how do we stay in each other’s lives when we’re not actually in each other’s lives.

It’s important to remember that you’re part of a couple if en if you’re flying solo for the time being.

I know these examples won’t work for everyone depending on their living situations, so take what you can and go from there.

Talk Often…However and Whenever You Can

Communication is absolutely key to keeping that spark alive. Depending on the situation, I totally understand that there may not be ways to chat…but that shouldn’t stop you completely.

Write letters, send an email, keep a journal and mail it every few weeks, and/or schedule phone calls if timing doesn’t work out.

We’ve used the Marco Polo and WhatsApp apps during the past year, and they’ve been game changers for our long distance relationship. Even though he’s halfway around the world, they make me feel like he’s at work on the other side of town.

Binge “Together”

Pick a TV show to watch together. If you both can’t stream it, maybe you can find DVDs on sale somewhere, so one person has the “hard copy.” If there’s a new movie out, watch it “together” so you’ll have something in common to talk about.

Love reading? Pick a book and read it at the same time, nothing like literally being on the same page as someone.

SEE Each other

Seriously, just seeing my husband’s face, or hearing his voice when he’s away makes me feel like we’re dating again. And with so many ways to video chat these days, you can most likely make it happen.

If you both have Apple phones, FaceTime is the way to go, and our favorites are the Marco Polo and Whatsapp apps.

Care Packages

Who doesn’t feel loved and cared for when they get some happy mail sent their way. A piece of snail mail that isn’t a bill or junk can seriously bring some extra joy to someone.

Fill up box and send a care package with your person’s favorite things, or make a fun theme out of them. Either way, a thoughtful package can literally brighten your day.

Send Dinner or (fun) Groceries

Nothing says, “I love you,” in a long distance relationship than not having to make dinner. Thanks to restaurant delivery, you can get everything from a full blown meal delivered to favorite snacks.

My husband routinely sends our favorite foods, snacks, and flowers from Whole Foods (using the Amazon Prime membership), and it’s always a treat.

Other ideas: Let them know dinner is on you one night (ask what time they want it), and send some pizza or even dinner from their favorite restaurant via something like GrubHub.

Play a Game

Nothing like a friendly competition to keep things fun even if you’re not actually sitting across the table from each other. We love playing Words with Friends, but there are tons of other apps out there so you can both play a game “together.”

If you’re both into gaming you can also set up a specific time to play against each other online.

Make Future Plans

There’s something special about dreaming of the day the long distance relationship is OVER. Knowing it won’t last forever is what gets us through each day being a part.

Make plans for something fun when you’re reunited. Either a trip or a date night out—anything that will help you rekindle and connect in person again.

Depending on the length you’ve been separated, and if you have kids, at least a night away is almost essential (if you can manage it) to reconnect.

How do you Keep Your Long Distance Relationship Exciting?

What do you do to keep that spark alive when you’re separated from the one you love? Share some ideas below!

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One Comment

  1. These are all great tips! When Dan and I were long-distance, we loved playing games together. It’s funny you mention Words with Friends. Our favorite during Skype dates was Wabble, a free knockoff of Scrabble. We also watched full episodes of Penn & Teller’s Bullshit on YouTube through Google Hangouts.

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